You know...

Since we found out

that anything could happen.

- L

Don’t you like it on the sly?

Don’t you like it till it hurts?

Not moving on…

I found out your name two days ago. Your name is Mark Works. I’m sitting here staring at the mountain and all I wonder is if you blame yourself for my brother’s death. What if you had taken a different route? Did you badger him to go climbing that day? Did you reach for him? What series of events caused the biggest tragedy of my life? Do you know how it effected my family? I wonder how it effected you. Do you wonder about me? Do you know I exist?

I close my eyes and try to picture looking down at him as he fell. Put myself in your shoes. How his face must have looked. How my stomach would have exploded with nausea from the instantaneous adrenalin overload. 

I wonder whether I would be here if Mark Works didn’t exist. Not here existentially, but here. In this place. In my life situation. 

I have typed your name in my search engine so many times in the last two days. Fingers slick with anticipation. Eyebrows raise, waiting for something. Anything. Tap tap tap. No results. Dead end, rhetorical questions.

I’m wondering if the clouds will drop their cargo. They might be passing too quickly. Moving on. Something I can’t seem to bring myself to do. Obsessed with answers and fixes. 

My chest cavity feels as though it’s stuffed with pizza dough. Thick. Too warm. Alive. 

- L 

TIL - Local idiots want to muzzle pit bulls

Front page of the Local paper:

Local Idiot continues to fight to muzzle pit bulls

So the story is basically, Idiot and her idiot labradoodle (sorry but it’s a fucking mutt) dog are at the off leash park and her dog instigates a fight, getting some well placed puncture wounds. 

Now working in the dog world, we know that puncture wounds indicate that a dog is warning or protecting itself from another rude and obnoxious dogs or person. Dogs that do not know warning signals get bitten. It’s like if you kept pushing someone to the point of slapping you… it’s your fault, not the person who clearly told you they were annoyed repeatedly, and finally felt that the only way they could get you to stop was physical violence. I’m not saying that it was the labradoodle’s fault entirely. Although I think they are a lesser breed, because I am a breed snob, it is entirely on the owners. They clearly weren’t reading for signs that their dogs were uncomfortable. Each owner should have pulled their dogs away from the situation and moved on before violence happened.

Violence is never a dog’s first sign of discomfort. If that pitbull wanted to, it could have ripped the damn doodle’s (stupidest name for stupid breed) throat out. But it didn’t. Puncture wounds do not indicate an aggressive, vicious dog. They indicate that you (the idiot), and your idiot dog were being idiots in a potentially dangerous situation, and you didn’t care about the comfort level of the other dog, or the competence of your own.

All I’m saying is don’t let your dog be that guy, whether you have a stupid breed or not. If you have an obnoxious, hyper dog, it’s going to get bit. It is rude for your dog to act like that around other dogs. Similarly if you have a rude and obnoxious child, that child will have no friends and might get a slap across the face by a frustrated companion one day in the future. 

Just don’t blame the other dog because you think all dogs should love all other dogs. 

I think I have more to say on this subject, but I really want to watch Lost Girl right now. 

- L